2018 was a hell of a year for me and my little world.
I had a lot of personal and professional up and downs – some we’re still recovering from.
I get a general sense most peoples’ 2018 wasn’t the greatest and sometimes I chalk that up to the collective zeitgeist’s rampancy but introspectively, I look at my own up and downs and try to multiply that into generic things that could be happening to others.
There were some late-breaking 2017 professional changes for me that at the time I very much looked at in a positive light. I took it as an acknowledgement of my skills and tenacity to turn something into a success. It was also pitched as a path to further career roles & experience growth – roles that were in abundance for about 75% of the year. As well as exciting new projects getting off the ground that I requested to be a part of.
I spent a not insignificant deal of time devoted to my assigned projects; pushing them forward by myself, thinking about them in my free time, dissecting them, breaking them apart into manageable bits. Understanding the problems so they could be worked out and incrementally changing things for the better. Taking business trips to seek knowledge and guidance; applying it to the root problems.
Sadly – success did not come easily or at all (at the time of this writing). Things are much better than when I found them (I’d look upon things even more favorably if I could say things are “resolved” but its just not to my liking yet for reasons I can’t disclose) but if I look hard in the mirror; the juice was not worth the squeeze.
After a solid 12 months (yes I understand cities were not built in a day – but I’m not building a city here) I’m no further along in my career path than when I began. I don’t feel as if I’ve gained any significant experience or skills than I already possessed; perhaps I’m a bit more grizzled than I was at what I do – thats about it. The opportunities that were in abundance became “unavailable” to me for reasons that have not been made crystal clear to me. The projects that I was very interested in working on have been directly handed off to others.
So I write this not as a “woe as me” entry but a more contemplative point in time that I have to put my foot down, and take a step back. Recognizing that this doesn’t feel like healthy behavior and this doesn’t feel like sustainable behavior for me or my professional career.
I’m not crying “FOUL!” at anyone, anything, or group directly (Pitchforks down y’all).
I think in all things there are lots of factors that go into creating situations – and if you think you’ve got all the angles covered – you’re probably missing a few (but bonus points for understanding its a multi-dimensional concept) so I’m just sharing my personal perspective as I’m sure there are other factors that go into these things (whether I agree with them or their bearing on my situation is…debatable but that’s the sass in me talking).
This is more of a personal wake up call – that 2019 – needs to be very very different for me. I honestly feel that I’ve poured much too much into Pro-2018 and come up with zero-wins. Nothing – I’m taking the big “L” on it. Which I think had some (heck ANY) of the expectations been met, I’m not sure I’d be in this contemplative state or think 18’ was an “L” but – it was.
With a heavy-weighted Pro-2018, this means that Personal-2018 suffered for it – even if I worked at Personal-2018 not feeling the impact; it doesn’t mean the ripple affects weren’t felt somewhere along the way.
Its always give and take – I’m not advocating for a Thanos-level “Perfectly balanced” situation but really taking a long look; to me, that scale is out of balance.
I’m working on my framing plans & goals for 2019 so I keep on track, maintain my accountability, and propel myself forward.
2019 Shenanigans –
Learning – A big one of these for me is to get into Cloud-environment knowledge so I’ve started down some certification tracks from Amazon and see where that leads me (If you’re reading this and you’ve got pointers – reach out to me! I’d love your perspective).
Automation – Another is the concept of automation in everyday life but I think capturing “what” you’re doing on an everyday basis can be difficult (at least it is for me) so you have requirements to build from. (Launch Center Pro, Shortcuts/Siri Shortcuts, Automator, Keyboard Maestro, etc.)
Productivity – I built a fancy personal workflow concept – I need to “pretty” it up but I’ll share it here in the coming weeks – again if you’ve got one of these and you keep a master-task list or have your own personal productivity plan – I’d love to hear from you and how you do it/get it done.
Blog – I have about 1 article a month – shelved – cause if I don’t think they’re good enough or maybe the content is wishy-washy – I shelve it. I’m trying to do better at not COMPLETELY censoring everything I write but its hard – hence why my posts appear pretty randomly. So you don’t think I’m a total fraud:
Video – I feel like I’ve got a LOT of decent methods of visually capturing my everyday life. I love the idea of sharing my goofy everyday with people – I get stymied with the creative/perfectionist edits which is why Snapchat has been so easy to use – there almost is no edit – so it gets done and out there. Feel free to follow me on there if you’re into that sort of thing. I don’t get Instagram stories maybe I’ll check into it.
Podcasting – This is an area that scratches so many itches for me. I still have ideas around this and programs that might lower some barriers, might be more testing for this in 2019. It suffers from the same “editing” issues video does.
Skating – The Boosted board still boosts. The scooter still scoots. It’s just cold out BUT above 45 and no precipitation – you’ll see me out there.
A Thank You
And finally – if you’ve made it this far – I really appreciate you reading this and my ideas, ramblings, thoughts; whatever. This blog doesn’t receive a lot of traffic (I don’t market it nor “push” it) so anytime I see my stats go up a little bit – it means a lot. Same with my Twitter, Snap, or Insta.
So. Just between us – anytime you favorite my tweet, like a photo, tweet a GIF at me, message me, or visit this site – know – REALLY know – I appreciate it dear internet stranger.
Here’s to 2019 and a bright future for us both dear reader.
~J
jeremyxmentzell 